Thanks not spanks

As much as I would like to rant about the myths surrounding this holiday, as well as the bloated, empty consumerism associated with this time of year, I'm just going to chill the f out and do something we should all consider today—think about the things you are truly thankful for.

50 things I'd like to give thanks for:

[After, of course, friends, family, health, and cookies.]

1. Slammer Christmas lights

2. Pancakes

3. Darren from Cat Island, Bahamas

4. The homeless man who yelled "Now that's what I call saving gas!" as I rode my bike past

5. The playhouse

6. My boobs

7. Carlo Rossi

8. Adult-sized footie pajama manufacturers 

9. Maverick

10. Nap-time hallucinations 

11. When Liz relents and french braids my hair

12. People who still rollerblade

13. The way the night feels limitless after a few glasses of wine

14. King burrito

15. a.m. phone calls with the mother

16. The gloaming

17. Good lighting

18. Jeff's teeth

19. The ability to recall my dreams

20. Puppies that try to run up stairs

21. Foxhorn being pulled out of purses at a 3$ movie

22. Cheap rent

23. The few occasions no one notices when I say something really dumb

24. The movie Sleepaway Camp

25. That I wasn't actually taken away by twin clowns and their evil circus ambulance like in my dream last night

26. Pace's hand gestures

27. People with laughs like stories

28. My unemployment skirt

29. My introduction to Wizard People

30. Finding gatorade in an emergency kit your mom put in the back of your car when your super hung over one morning

31. Finding a gas mask in an emergency kit your mom put in the back of your car when your super bored in traffic

32. Annie and Martha giving me a dead seahorse they found on the sidewalk 

33. Ghost stories

34. That beer you discover in the waaaay back of the fridge behind the jar of sauerkraut when you were sure they were all gone

35. Kisses from Lizzie 

36. Concerts that haunt you

37. The architecture of my nose

38. Breakfasts at Beaterville

39. The four different people who called to tell me about the new live puppy cam

40. LOST Season 5

41. Having blond leg hair

42. The kind of warm you only get from hot toddies

43. No scar from the "macaroni & cheese microwave incident"

44. Unexpected snowy mornings

45. British accents—faking them, listening to them, etc.

46. My great-grandmother's furniture

47. Riding my bike in early October

48. Catching crawdads in June

49. Seersucker

50. You.