Legends of the Fall

Perhaps it's that I'm no longer sitting at a desk for eight hours a day and therefore have more time to walk around, but I've noticed an increase in my tripping [James, read: falling down], and have begun to observe the nuances distinguishing these assassins of the vertical...

The Liberated Marionette: This is probably my favorite fall. Exclusive to days when I'm wearing my Danskos, this trip entails five feet, ten inches of unsuspecting mass quickly toppling over, much like a marionette whose strings have suddenly been cut. Can be easily identified by several robust thuds as the shoe itself slams against the floor at various angles. 

Slo-Mo Dansko: Similar to The Liberated Marionette, but slower. Usually occurs near a stable surface, such as a desk or wall, where one can catch one's self before the second thud. 

Stair face: This trip actually entails falling up. Rumored to have originated during high school years, when heavily back-packed, dexterity-impaired teenagers would hurry up the steps to class. Who amongst us doesn't remember rushing up a flight of stairs, late for calculus (or for me, geometry) when  suddenly one foot doesn't quite clear the step on its ascent and—slam—you're a quadruped with a Jansport.  

Be safe out there kids, and wipe your feet before running on tile.